Tomorrow is my first Father's Day being a father. I actually started this blog in large part because of my father, so it seems fitting that the first post be about Father's Day.
Growing up, Father's Day was always just one of those holidays I never really understood (yes, along with Mother's Day). Sure, I "celebrated" it every year. I would wish my dad a "happy Father's Day" and maybe go out to dinner with him...but it was never really anything very special. I never really put a whole lot of thought into it. I honestly just didn't understand the point of having Father's Day at all. If you love and respect your dad all year long, why have a particular day set aside (besides to go have dinner wherever he wants)?
In February this year my first child was born. Everyone will tell you that there really isn't anything that can truly prepare you for becoming a parent, and they're right. My daughter has been alive in this world for a mere 4 months at this point and she has already caused me more joy and satisfaction that I could have ever imagined.
She has also caused me more frustration and exhaustion that I could have imagined. I think of all the sleepless nights, the crying and fussiness, the obscene amounts of bodily waste that could come out of such a small creature, and all of the times that I was so frustrated with her and just wanted to give up. I then think about the fact that it's only been 4 months for me...I haven't even reached the toddler stage...or the tween/teenager stages! How am I POSSIBLY going to make it through all of THAT?!
Then I think about my dad. I realize that he went through this EXACT same thing with me. I had caused him all of this same frustration and exhaustion...all within the first 6 months of MY life. He never gave up on me...not through this, not through my toddler years, not through my teenage years...never. It really opens my eyes to everything my dad did for me. I am the dad I am today because of my dad...it's that simple.
Father's day really is a holiday that one can never fully appreciate until they become a father themselves. I think about how nice it will be if my daughter, even for one day a year, looks at me and truly thanks me for everything that I have done and all the hard work I do to support her.
So yes, this is my first year being a dad on Father's Day...it is also my first Father's Day without my dad. He passed away this last fall very suddenly and unexpectedly. So this is going to be an extremely bittersweet day for me. There are three simple words that I would give anything to tell my dad tomorrow. No, not "I love you"...I said that to him plenty. No, the three simple words are "I get it". I know my dad knew how much I appreciated everything he did for me; I know he knew how much I loved him; but I never had the opportunity to look him in the eye and let him know that I GET IT. I understand everything that he did for me...I understand all the pain and frustration and joy and happiness and stress and exhaustion that I caused him. I get it and I truly wanted to thank him for everything. But I will never get the chance to...
So please, if your dad is still with you, take the time to tell him how much you really do appreciate everything he has done for you. You would not be here if it weren't for him. Period. Going to dinner, getting a gift, saying "happy father's day"...all great and nice things. But don't be like me and not put much thought into it. If you are not a father yet, please don't wait until you are like I did to take this holiday seriously, because it might be too late.
Happy Father's Day, Dad...I get it...thank you for everything.
